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After all, there are only so many times you can hear “How do you know if someone’s vegan? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.”
17 Vegan Jokes
1. How many carnivores does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer to stay in the dark.
2. Why are most ghosts vegan? Because it’s super natural!
3. My girlfriend really changed after she became vegan. It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.
4. Why are vegans the best friends in the world? They never have beef with you.
5. What does a vegan zombie eat for breakfast? GRAAAAAINNNNSS
6. “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer.” – Adele Cliff
7. What did the vegan wear to the pool? A zucchini.
8. Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken.
9. Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper? He sold his soul to seitan!
10. Can I tell you a vegan joke? I promise it won’t be cheesy.
11. What’s the best way to keep milk fresh? Leave it in the cow.
12. What do you call it when one chickpea murders another? Hummus-cide.
13. What do you call a post-punk band that’s also vegan? Soy Division.
14. How do you know you’re around some vegan witches? When you hear, “Eye of potato.” “Ear of corn,” and “Head of lettuce.” around their cauldron.
15. What do you call an argument between two vegans? Not “beef,” just two people with bad tempehs.
16. I hate vegan jokes, they’re soy cheesy.